zaterdag 17 november 2007

Kundalini Rising (Part 2)

*** This was the second lecture about Kundalini, Tantra etc that was delivered at the OWO&KUN meditation center in Second Life ***

Kundalini Rising Part 2,

Lecture by Tara Lock in the OWO & KUN center SL, July 7, 2007

Hi Everybody. Its about 12:00 now so lets start.

I would like to thank you all for coming. Lets have some fun with this kundalini subject

I am glad to be here and speak with you about kundalini again. Nice to see you :)

Tonight is my second talk about kundalini rising. Two weeks ago I spoke about my own practice and experience. You can find the transcription elsewhere in this blog. It is however not necessary to have read it to follow part 2.

We will speak about Tools for Kundalini.. The three locks and breathing technique. After some theory we will try the tools in some exercises. Please be careful not to overdo it if your new to it.

I will introduce three Locks, the basic tools for Kundalini yoga. The Mula Bandha, the Uddiyana bandha, the Jalandhara Bandha and a breathing technique called Ujjayi Pranayama.

I will use some text and references taken from wikipedia and other internet resources if they were available and relevant. So i thank the anonymous wikipedia editors for their help.

In Sanskrit, "mula" means root; "bandha" means a lock or binding. Not only physically but also in more subtle ways, mula bandha is a technique for containing and channeling the energy associated with the mula-dhara ("root place") chakra. Located at the tip of the spine, muladhara chakra represents the stage of consciousness where basic survival needs dominate.

Mula bandha also lifts and compresses the bowel and lower abdominal region. This creates a solid foundation, a platform under the breath that makes it possible to increase or decrease the pressure inside the torso and facilitate movement. The bandha creates lightness and fluidity; when it is properly applied, the body is less earth-bound and more mobile.

Through gradual refinement, mula bandha becomes less muscular and more subtle, energetic, and etheric. This movement from outside to inside, from mundane to rarefied, from unconsciousness to enlightenment, is the basic pattern of transcendental yogic awakening, the goal of Tantra.

On an energetic level, mula bandha allows us to feel, restrain, and then direct our energies, the kundalini, toward enlightenment.

On a physical level, mula bandha consists of a contraction, a muscular lifting-up in the floor of the pelvis. Although the pelvis itself is primarily a bony structure supported with ligaments, the pelvic floor consists of muscle fibers and fascia (connective tissue). These tissues intersect and overlap in complex ways; for our purposes, we can divide the pelvic floor into three muscular levels, each of which can be sensed and moved separately.

The most superficial physical level of mula bandha corresponds to the "contract your anus" instruction. If you are unsure about whether you understand this contraction, place a finger in or on the anal opening and alternately squeeze it shut and protrude it outward. The outward movement is the wrong direction.

Technically, isolation of the anal sphincter contraction is not mula bandha but a cousin, called ashvini ("dawn horse") mudra, named after the rather peculiar habit that horses have of pursing the anal sphincter. But contracting the anal sphincter does provide a doorway to the deeper layers of mula bandha. This muscle is connected by ligaments to the tip of the spine; when you contract it, you draw mula-dhara chakra upward, as in mula bandha.

Eventually, with mula bandha applied correctly, the anus will soften and lift into the body. At first, you'll probably unconsciously contract other muscles of the pelvic floor along with the anal sphincter. The next step in the refinement of your mula bandha is to sort out some of these other unconscious contractions and make them conscious.

The intermediate physical level of mula bandha involves isolating the contraction of the perineum (the region between the anus and the genitals) and perineal body (which extends inward from the perineum and is the insertion point for eight muscles of the pelvic floor)—without contracting the anal sphincter.

In order to feel the perineum, press a finger into the space between the anus and scrotum or labia. Or, better yet, sit for a few minutes with a tennis ball or the heel of your foot placed in the space between the anus and genitals. Alternate between anal and perineal contractions until you can feel the difference.

With some experience, you will find that you can refine your experience of mula bandha by moving deeper into the pelvis through the isolation of the perineum. This refinement carries the contraction of the bandha inward and upward, giving you a physical experience of the yogic process of moving from external to internal awareness.

The contraction of mula bandha on the deepest physical level is similar to the Kegel exercises used to correct urinary incontinence and strengthen the vaginal walls after childbirth. To find this level of mula bandha, practice beginning to urinate and then interrupting the flow. Alternately, women can insert a finger into the vagina and contract the muscles used to cut off urination: If you feel tightness on the inserted finger, you are squeezing the right muscles.

But the isolated contraction of the muscles that control the flow of urine is actually vajroli or sahajoli mudra. For full mula bandha, you must also lift the pelvic diaphragm, mostly by contracting the muscles called the levator ani. This diaphragm is the innermost layer of the pelvic floor, a sling of muscles which extends from the pubis to the coccyx and supports the upper half of the vagina, the uterus, the bladder, the prostate, and the rectum. Besides supporting all these organs, the pelvic diaphragm also helps regulate the bowel.

As you learn to apply mula bandha and engage this deep internal contraction, you will feel the lift under the bladder, vagina and uterus (or prostate), and rectum. Relax the surface muscles and feel this contraction deep inside, at the base of the abdomen. Don't use any extra muscles to isolate this contraction of the pelvic diaphragm. With practice, you will discover that it is possible to lift the floor of the pelvis deep inside without contracting either the anus or the exterior layers of the perineum.

Make It So!

Eventually, the refinement of mula bandha begins to integrate not just the body but also the mind. The bandha bears still deeper into your psyche, permeating your life.

Mula bandha, like asana practice, is intended to purify the pranamayakosha—one of the subtle, five-layered sheaths of the energetic body. On the pranic level, mula bandha redirects the energy of apana, the aspect of prana within the body that naturally flows downward from the navel. When we redirect apana energy upward to join with the natural upward movement of prana toward enlightenment, we redirect tremendous amounts of energy toward higher levels of consciousness. This is how Kundalini energy in generated.

At this stage, practicing mula bandha means we try not to allow mundane concerns to stand in the way of divine aspirations. We never let bad talk take the place of good speech; we never allow wrong action to replace right action; we seek out good company and avoid bad company…. In short be a kind human being among kind people.

On the deepest level of the subtle body—the ananda (bliss) level—applying mula bandha means binding the normally outgoing senses inward. Normally we look outside ourselves for happiness. But any bliss which we find from outside is temporary, even if it can be very intoxicating.

Pratyahara (the inward withdrawal of the senses) has been described as seeing past outer differences to behold the inner essence of all things. When we restrain our outward gaze to enhance the unitive vision of yoga, we open the third eye, the eye of insight.

In order to do this we need to have faith, and dedicate our efforts to serve the needs, and end the suffering, of all sentient beings. Instead of continuously focusing on differences, we begin to perceive inner sameness.

It might seem surprising that such a cosmic journey can begin with a direction as earthy as "Contract your anus." But as we escape the pull of gravity, we shed the worn-out launch equipment and begin to soar. We learn to use more and more refined means to move effortlessly toward the goal that is yoga—contacting not just Uranus but the whole cosmos.

Welll So much for Mula Bandha… and thanks to David Life of the Jivamukti Yoga Center in New York City. I used and adapted parts of his text on the mula bandha here.

Now some short remarks about the other Kundalini tools: Jalandhara bandha and the Uddiyana bandha, the two other locks, and some about Ujayyi breathing technique.

The Uddiyana bandha. The abdominal lock. The second of the three interior body “locks” used in asana and pranayama practice to control the flow of energy. Uddiyana bandha can be practiced alone or in conjunction with mula bandha. To engage this bandha, sit in a comfortable cross legged position. Exhale the breath, and then take a false inhale. This means draw the abdomen in and up without taking in any breath. Draw the belly up underneath the rib cage.

To release, soften the abdomen and inhale. Uddiyana bandha tones, massages and cleans the abdominal organs. If you are familiar with mula bandha, you will see that the drawing up of the pelvic floor naturally leads into the drawing up of the abdomen. This is how the bandhas work together.

The Jalandhara Bandha or "chin lock" consists in pressing the chin close to the chest and dropping the head to help in maintaining immobility of muscle and air movements.

Pfff so you see contrary to my long story about the mula bandha I can be short :)

Kundalini Yoga and Tantra uses these three locks extensively.. And the Mula bandha the mosts, that’s why I was more elaborate about Mula bandha.

About some breathing technique we use in kundalini yoga

Ujjayi Pranayama is a special breathing technique. It is a method to get unlimited access to Prana (=universal energy).

Performing it, heat may be your first sensation. It's said, that by this breathing, Yogis can create enough heat to melt snow around them. But this technique also gives you inner energy to master impossible seeming physical efforts. Doing demanding Yoga positions can bee just seen as a result of an huge amount of muscular stamina. But the muscular system gets it s energy for this stamina from Prana and Ujjayi Pranayama gives this Prana to them.

Ujjayi breathing means breathing slowly through your nostrils - about 4 to 5 heartbeats in and about 4 to 5 heartbeats out. While doing this you contract the glottis (the vocal cords) a bit and so create a soft and gentle sound in your throat, just like the waves of an inner ocean floating to the coast You hear the same sound inhaling and exhaling. Just listen to this rhythm. You can ride on it gently through your entire practice of yoga, tantric sex or even during normal daytime activities.

The Ujjayi Pranayama will become a guide to tell you about the quality of your practice. A too forceful breathing may point you to a too forceful practice - . a too sleepy and unfocused to an too sleepy and unfocused practice. Keeping the right balance between hard and soft, fast and slow means going in moving meditation.

Exercises for Kundalini rising require a combination of the bandhas and breathing technique described above. You need the Mula Banda in combination with the Uddiyana bandha together with the Ujjayi breathing to induce and guide the Kundalini energy.

Now lets practice a bit…

Sit straight, chin a bit tucked in.. head tilted lightly towards the chest.. So we don’t use full Jalandhara Bandha or "chin lock". We only use the beginning of the movement so to let energy flow freely from bottom to top and back.

Now activate mula bandha as I instructed above.. Contract the PC muscle between anus and genitals.

Contract and release a couple of times.

Now… activate the beginning of the navel lock (Uddiyana bandha or abdominal lock) by breathing out, and pulling back and up. So also this lock is not really knotted tight for our purposes here. You keep this activated while the breathing goes on.

Now… Pull on Mula Bandha together with the Navel Lock.. and keep those two active for some breathings….. … …. …

Relax again

Exercise the Ujjayi Pranayama now. Let your breathing make the ocean like sound…Breath in and out while hearing the sound. You contract the vocal cords to make the sound.

Well… now the combination… Mula and Navel lock together with the Ujjayi breating.

And keep your spine straight so the energy can go up and down freely.

And then the last and most important bit: SMILE… bring kindness to yourself..

Let a smile lighten up your face.. And while practicing the locks and breathing let the smile go to your heart and soften your heart..

Open up your heart and breath….

My dear friend.. that was enough talk for today.. Practice and get enlightened..


Kundalini Rising (Part 1)

***This was my first lecture in Second Life about "Kundalini, Tantra etc". It was delivered at the OWO&KUN Meditation center. ***

Kundlini Rising (part 1)

My dear friends. We will speak about kundalini today.

Kundalini for me is a very practical thing. Its Energy flowing through my body, My emotions, my mind and my spirit. Its physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

It can be a path of transformation. It can be a path of pain and suffering. For me it was and is both.

This talk is based upon my own experience. The story of my kundalini development. It started when in 1968, when I started practicing yoga. I was 14.. And for the quick calculators: I am 53 now.

So I am very practical .. Please feel free to email any questions or make comments.

I became a professional yoga teacher in 1977 in the Netherlands and had many groups that time. Interest in Yoga and similar things as Tai chi, Chi Kung etc rose quickly those days.

My kundalini development broke through after I stopped teaching large classes. It was 1987.

Before that time I had noticed soft energy rumbles for long, but then the big stream of heavy power unleashed.

I remember standing in the downward facing dog for an hour or so listening to Tina Turner when the kundalini energy started flowing massively. So not a really sacret moment.

There was a deep need to go on and on and on until it would come. What I did not know. I could not stop. And when it started I wa frightened to death

This urge is sometimes described as call of Shakti, the goddesss :)

I panicked a bit, and went for help to teachers. Most said it was impossible.. “this is from the past” they said. This does not happen in our time.

It was 1987. No internet, almost no email. After long search I found one book in a specialized bookshop: Kundalini Psychosis or transcendence. This was not a pleasant choice to make : Psychosis or transcendence..

What was happening???

Some Theory:

Kundalini: The coiled one; Energy that lies dormant at the base of the spine until it is activated, as by the practice of yoga, and channeled upward through the chakras in the process of spiritual perfection.

In some tantric forms of Yoga, the cosmic energy believed to be within everyone. It is pictured as a coiled serpent lying at the base of the spine. Through a series of exercises involving posture, meditation, and breathing, a practitioner can force this energy up through the body to the top of the head. This brings about a sensation of bliss, as the ordinary self is dissolved into its eternal essence, atman.

According to classical literature, signs of awakened kundalini are grouped into three categories: vocal, physical and mental signs. Kundalini is also believed to be connected with certain psychic powers, known to yogis as siddhis

Kundalini can be aroused by a combination of hatha yoga positions, pranayama (breathing exercises) and meditation. Much of the yogic practice is designed to release knots or blockages in the body which prevent the flow of kundalini energy.

However, kundalini may emerge within one who has never performed traditional kundalini rising practices. Often it is not a matter of the seeker grasping Enlightenment, but Enlightenment snaring the seeker. It came to me, I did not look for it intentionally .. or maybe I did…:)

The path incorporates Hatha yoga like practice, Pranayama (breath exercise) Meditation, Tantra and tools for tantra like: Mantra (sound), Yantra’s and Mandala’s(symbols).

The path leads through knots ot wheels in the psycho physical body.. The Chakra’s.

The Kundalini energy flows through channels, called nadi’s. Three main ones. Ida, Pingala and the middle one: Sushumna.. These channels feel like highways in my body.. The charkas feel like knots sometimes and sometimes as pools of bliss.

Tantra uses klesha’s or hindrances like lust and anger to ignite the winds in the nadi’s. That’s why I sometimes use BDSM techniques in the virtual world SL and sometimes in rl too. I use the energies of the BDSM-like practice to develop my apprentices and students. Lots of lust flowing though :)

In Buddhism lots is said about the use of kundalini. Its all meant to realize “” the empty nature of self and mind”, Sunyata, the stainless light. The path is Bodhichitta. “To help others by helping myself”.

After kundalini woke up I struggled and found a way to deal with it through yoga exercises, pranayama and meditation.

If I practice every day for two hours I can manage. If I stop practicing for several days I get sick.

In 1994 we have set up a Kundalini self help group in the Netherlands. Some dozens of people came, some of them quite desperate.

One time i was meditating in a Buddhist center in the Netherlands. Then, by looking at the symbols and books they used, it became clear that the tantric Tibetan system of tummo (heat) yoga was similar to the system of yoga that i had developed myself. The connection was made and I became initiated in the Green Tara energy. The Kalachakra (wheel of time) opened itself for me.

Ever since I refer to myself as carrier of “Green Tara” energy. Its not so serious, and no Geshe or lama will recognize it as i did not go through all studies and formal initiations, but it reflects how i feel.

That time internet developed and more good books came available.. The time of absolute loneliness for this sort of development was over. And now there are over 3 millon hits on google on the word kundalini....

Most google hits are popular new age sites.. well.. no problems with that really, but the main topic is a bit diluted :)

Kundalini brought much and did cost much too. Spiritual transformation? Yes.. and lots of struggle to keep contact with reality. To survive in a family and make money to make a living .

To raise children and give them a “normal” life.

Want to read something? Please refer to good books around. Some examples: Bonnie Greenwell: Energies of transformatiom. Satyananda: Kundalini Tantra. Svatmarama: Hatha Yoga Predipika (bihar shool of yoga); Gopi Krishna: Kundalini

vrijdag 16 november 2007

Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM (part 2)

*** This lecture was delivered earlier 2007 as "virtual lecture" in Second Life***

Dear Friends!

Today we will continue to speak about Tantric Sex and Tantrix BDSM

In Tantric Sex and BDSM part 1 i gave a general overview of my experience with these topics and i gave some basic exercises.

In Kundalini Rising part 1 and 2 i introduce you to some experiences i had as yoga and kundalini teacher and i give some basic kundalini yoga exercises to deal with your energy. We speak about some locks and breathing exercises.

Today i will continue the topic of Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM. Please remind the warnings i gave in my last lecture. This is explosive stuff! You deal with it in a disciplined manner or you will be harmed. Period.

Please note that i nor anyone else can take any responsibility for anything you do based on these talks. Tantra is about taking responsibility for your own life. For your own pleasure and also for your own sufferings.

So why should we interested then? Is there still any fun in life???

Ohh yes. During tantric sexual practices we might find that we achieved:

Simultaneous orgasms; Much more explosive orgasms; Whole- Body orgasms; Multiple orgasms for men; Longer and more pleasurable sexual sessions; More control over when and how we orgasm;

And: A shared emotional response to sex that goes deeper than anything we have experienced before; heightened sexual excitement; an increased libido; a more open and honest sexual relationship;

Plus: A deeper love and respect for our partner; an ability to maintain sex sessions for longer and for them to be more enjoyable

Not bad for a beginning. And then there is the spiritual side as well. Although we shouldnt have expectations of what we individually will experience we might find that we:

Feel our spiritual energy alive and vigorously moving within our body; Feel at one with the universe;

Experience a deeper joy in being alive; Have an understanding of our “soul” or “spirit”; Establish a union with the “One”;

Feel a spiritual bond with our partner; Feel their spiritual energy moving; Share our spiritual energy with our partner; Understand more about our role or mission in life...

WOOOW, Still there my friends??

Lightness, joy, freedom, those are important words for me..

Laughter, smiles

Fun in short.. If you experience yourself not smiling for a while.. then stop it. Go play with your children. Go to the movies. Have fun.

Now the real stuff: We have two different approaches to tantric sex: The Traditional as practiced in ancient India, Tibet, China etc.. And the Neo- Tantra

Neo- Tantra is aimed at more pleasurable sex. Margo Anand as one of the main authors for this approach says in interviews: “I don't teach tantra, i teach ecstatic sex”.

Traditional tantra or “spiritual tantra” is aimed at personal transformation. This is my path. The ecstatic sex for me is merely a by product.

My BDSM practice is a way to augment, accelerate, and intensify the sexual arousal. And the bdsm techniques also proved to have something extra in opening the energy channels and centers. We will speak about that later.

By the way.. RL bdsm people sometimes call my bdsm practice “just sex play”. To them bdsm is a lifestyle. I am not in that lifestyle. Not rl and not in sl.

In part 1 i told you i had several "submissives" in SL. Well That was early 2007. They are all set free to follow their own path of light.

We do Tantra for our own pleasure. Not because anyone tells me to do it.

As a consequence i dropped my bdsm practice in sl. I used bdsm techniques for our tantra work and now i write about it in real life.

Barbara Keesling in her book “Sexual Pleasure” tells us quite strongly: Do the caresses for your own pleasure. Focus on exactly what you are feeling.

Barbara continues: Notice how concentrating on your own sensations makes you more attentive to the little things: The little warm spots, the places where the skin is most delicate, the areas of extreme sensitivity. How does it all feel against your tongue?


Well this is quite a turn for most of us. We, well educated as we are, try to please the other.

I always tried to please my partner. I worked and worked on the pleasure..

I forgot to feel what i myself needed. I did not even know what i liked. I was very very busy pleasing the other. I felt responsible.

Tantra tells us : Stop that. Do it for your own pleasure. If the other is doing that too it will work.

For me it was a real break through to be allowed to feel for myself and be freed from responsibilities for my partner.

And my partner felt relieved too! Not to feel obliged to show response to my well meant ever continuing efforts to please.

Some Tantra techniques: “The Cobra Breath”

To deal with the energy we arouse you need several basic techniques. In my first lectures i gave you the root lock and navel lock.. The root lock or mula bandha uses the PV muscle.. Exercise this muscle.. It is abolutely necessary to be able to use the PC muscle if you want to work with Tantric sex.

The cobra breath is an “inverse breath technique”. In most traditions it exists, but is kept secret. Her we go: breathing in you contract the PC muscle and a light navel lock. Breathing out you expand the belly.

In Kundalini rising part 1 and 2 i explain about the PC, but in short: The PC muscle is to be found in the pelvic area between anus and genitals.

You see why it is called “inverse breath”. You contract while inhaling and expand while exhaling!

This breath works as a pump. You need the pump to bring the sexual energy we release upwards.

Try it... Breathing in and contract the PC Muscle

Breathing out, relax the PC and expand the belly. Make a sound while breathing out like haaaaaaaa

Hmmm Now about “Self loving”

Masturbation is a good exercise for traning yourself to control the energy and bring the necessary control to your orgasm. This works for both Male and female..

For male its good to exercise to come to the edge of orgasm and stay there a while befor letting cool down again... Dont ejaculate! Use the PC muscle to let the orgasmic energy flow upwards.

Use lubricant to make it more comfortable.. For some males vibrators are nice, some hate them.

For females: You can go to the edge and stay there as well like the males.. You can also work on exercising “Multiple orgasms” by having one and keep stimulating your clit until you get one after the other.

You also can use tools like vibrators to exercise your G-spot. Some women even squirt while they have a gspot orgasm.. some don't ever.

Homework: “The Daily Devotion”

Last week i described the daily devotion as a good basic exercise. I explicitly explained the technique of 3 series of 9 times ten thrusts. Read the transcript for instructions.

Why do this daily devotion.. Well, because it takes a lot of stress out of the question “do we have sex today or not”: We simply always have sex today....

And the DD technique is the best basis for energy work we found. It arouses kundalini and channels the energy upwards better then other techniques.

Yammy: The Yab Yum

If the “DD” is basic to arouse and channel the energy in our own body, the Yab Yum is best to exchange the energy.

We sit in tailors position or Lotus. Female on top. Lingam (penis) in Yoni (vagina). Male and female breath complementary.. Male in while female breathes out etc.

Breathing out the male visualizes his energy streaming out of his penis upwards through the female. The female visualizes the energy going up.

Breathing in the male visualizes energy streaming from the heart of the female into his heart and down. The female breathes out and lets her energy stream into the heart of the male..

Do this as long as you like.. Only slight movements to keep the erection active. No ejaculation. Sometime happy little accidents happen.. So be it..

This basic exercises should keep you busy for at least a few months if your serious.

If your only playing around these exercises will give you a few pleasant evenings and a good at your birthday party where you exchange funny stories.

Now: The heavy stuff: “BDSM as Tantric practice”

I spoke about some bdsm exercises last week. I will give more details now. Be careful to practice this at home Prepare well and make good appointments about what to do and what not.

Keywords for BDSM are: “Safe, Sane and Consentual”.. Every BDSM practitioner will quote those words as most important aspects of contemporary bdsm. Always use a “Stop word” preferably not the word stop.

In SL I use the word RED in capitals. If the word RED is uttered in either chat or IM i immediately stop and bring the apprentice back to relaxed position. We then discuss what happened. So if you hear a stop word.. Immediate response is needed. Both in sl ans in rl play.

Now for the exercise. This is an exercise i used in this virtual world. It transmits a tantric experience between partners who do not know each other in the real world.

First i agree with my partner that he/she will be my submissive partner for the hour or so we work.

She is put on her knees, sitting before a large chakra picture. We will visualize the chakra’s. I will touch her body on the positions of the chakra’s.

Then i immobilize her using bdsm ropes of some sort. Those can be bought in sl in specialized shops.

I let her visualize the chakra picture.

I tell the her that i will spank her through the chakra’s... seven strokes up and seven strokes down.

I ask the apprentice to concentrate. She is ordered to count and thank me for every stroke. She will count from 1 to 7 and then back from 7 to 1.

I let her concentrate on the first chakra and then after a while i hit her on her butt.. quite firmly. It cracks and she counts: “One thank you”. We travel upwards. The hits get less hard when we go up.

After we arrive at seven, the crown chakra we count down. The hits start light for the upper chakra’s and get harder coming down. The last one is quite a blow.

Some partners are kept immobilized, others sit on a meditation pillow. I lead them through a chakra visualizations again.. up and down and i touch the places on their body.

Having come down i tell them that i put my hand on their second “sex” chakra.. I suggest them to feel the energy flowing in their body.

About all partners whom i gave this exercise report strong, sometimes even orgasm like experiences. Which means the virtual experience works through in real life.

All report having had ecstatic feelings nights and days after our exercise.

So this shows how we can use a virtual world like sl to transmit tantric experience.

Now don't fool around with this. As said this is high energy. Be respectful. Be respectful to your partner and to yourself.

Don't think a Domm is there to abuse a submitting partner. It is the Domm's duty to guide her sub and to protect her. The subs wellbeing is the Domm's responsibility.

Be aware: Submissiveness is a gift a sub gives to the Domme. Its not the Domme who take something from the sub!. So the Domme serves the Sub by taking care of her !!!

Woooow.. is there still any fun in this all?? Ohh yes.. Ecstasy is fun. Play is fun. Talking about it is fun.

Fun, Fun and love

This is about Tantric Kindness. Kindness is and remains key to the whole experience.

If you have questions please email me:

Om Tat Sa (So Be It)


Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM (part 1)

*** This text was used as Virtual lecture in Second Life earlier this year. It will be part of the book "Tantric Kindness"***

Dear friends

Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM, the title of today

Today we will speak about Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM as a way to arouse kundalini, let it rise and channel it through our system

This is my third virtual lecture in sl. First and second are labeled “Kundalini Rising part 1 and 2 and will be posted below”.

In "Kundalini rising part 1 and 2" i spoke about my personal experience when kundalini started flowing through my system some 20 years ago. I told you how i dealt with that as professional yoga teacher who had never learned how to deal with that in the teachers training.

Some of my earlier teachers of my Yoga teachers training even told me that this would never happen and that i probably had a too lively imagination. Nowadays we know better and there are many stories like mine to be found in good books and on the internet.

In "Kundalini rising part 2" i give you the basic exercises to deal with the energy. The root lock, mulabandha, the navel and chin locks and the pranayama’s. I gave some examples about how strong these exercises can work when applied correctly.

Today we will speak about the most potent way humans have to deal with the kundalini energy. We will speak about sex...

But before we start with the heavy stuff.. Tantra is really about pleasure. Tantra is about light. Tantra is about lightness. Tantra is about experiencing a smile in all you do. Relax.. and smile.. bring a smile to your face and let it open your heart..

Sex is the strongest emotion we have. Of course there is no 1-on-1 relationship between having sex and arousing kundalini. Otherwise everybody who ever had sex in his or her life would be tripping on kundalini and be enlightened already.

I will use the terminology “Tantris sex and Tantric BDSM” a lot today. If sex is the strongest emotion we have, BDSM techniques are among the most potent ways to experience sex. So we deal with high explosives here!

Explosives can be used to blast ourselves a way through high mountains. But as you are perfectly aware of course: Explosives have to be dealt with in a very couscious and disciplined manner.

Dealing with explosives we learn from experienced masters wo lived their lives building up their experience. And sometimes we learn from stories about masters who tried, experimented and blew themself to pieces..

Please learn from this metaphor. Learn from experience of others and be disciplined if you ever want to try these techniques. Quite a few people died of were injured physically, mentally or spritually “fooling” around with these kundalini “high explosives”.

Some of us are guided by “Sat Guru” the guru within. At the end of the path that is the only teacher who is left even. But don't be silly not to use all the experience thats in books or on the internet.

I read a nice statement: “Earlier it was absolutely necessary to have a living Guru to guide you on this dangerous path. Since the invention of printing books this is no longer true”. This might be so, but you still have to read those books or internet entries ..

Are you still smiling? Smile a bit and let the smile open your heart.. Take some breathing.. Take a breath and let the smile open your heart my friends.. please do it.

Here in Sl i am a tantric BDSM mistress. I had devoted apprentices. They all know of course about my rl situation. ((Between mid 2006 and 2007 I had many SL apprentices. Now, fall 2007, SL is a closed book)).

Tantric sex then.... ohhh soo serious .. lets smile about this terribly serious topic?

Sex is about FUN my friends.. about Love.. LOVE ! .. well.. OK here we go..

There is Neo Tantra and traditional Tantra. Neo tantra uses tantric techniques to increase pleasure. To elongate orgasms, to have full body orgasms, te learn about using the gspot, to learn how to have squirting orgasms, to deepen our experience of sex play.

Neo tantra is recent (last 20 years) and mostly developed out of experiences of (former) Osho followers. People like Margo Anand are important authors. She wrote many good books. ( too many letters in those books for me by the way lol).

There is Taoist Tantra. Mantak Chia did lots of work developing “Healing Tao” from taoist perspective. Taoist approach is aimed at getting a long life. It states that ejaculation is a waste of energy and that you live longer if you ejaculate as little as possible.

And IF you ejaculate it even gives you techniques to suck back your juices. These techniques are by the way also to be found in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, the ancient 15th century Hatha yoga root source.

Non ejaculation does not mean not having orgasms! No my friends there is hope J

You develop the technique of Valley orgasm Multi orgasms and even full body orgasm. And thats what Neo tantrists are mostly after by the way.

There is Tibetan Tantra in Vajrayana and Dzogchen for example. They use tantric techniques as path to enlightenment and insight.

Insight for example in the origin and evolution ot the universe.

The Kalachakra body of knowledge and techniques deals with this. Kalachakra can be seen as (sand) mandala or as a building (the potala palace in Tibet) or as deity (god like figure) having sexual intercourse with his consort.

By the way, Kala means time and chacra of course means wheel or knot, so KalaChakra means “Time Wheel”. Tummo (Tibetan for kundalini) yoga is full part of the KalaChakra practice. The Tibetan tantra kundalini practice is called Trul Khor by the way.

The Tibetans, like most other ancient tantra practitioners, distinguish a “right handed” and a “left handed” path.

The right handed path only uses sexual imagination. The left handed.. Varma Maga, sometimes uses the real thing.

The practices are called the “Highest Yoga tantra”. Techniques are described in books like “six yoga’s of Naropa” and are mostly written in quite obscure language.

Some commentaries like that of Tsongkapa (14th century) make it a bit clearer. Some recent masters like Lama Yeshe tried to open up the teachings for westerners, but even then it stays difficult and obscured language.

Lama Yeshe said: “You have to taste the chocolade”. What he meant is you have to have sex. Lol

Tantric sex tecniques have a very simple basis.

Start with a daily practice very apt named “daily devotion”. Best twice a day mornings and evenings, if not possible at least once.

The daily devotion is sexual intercourse with three series of 9 times ten thrusts combined with contraction of the PC muscle (mula bandha, root lock) and pranayama’s

Nice you think.. yes.. But... NO ejaculation gentlemen!

Still smiling? Can you imagine? A month, longer even.. sex every day and no ejaculation?

But be aware of possible prostate complications here. The most serious resources i found recommend regular ejaculation. Frequency is depending on age. When your in your 50's that means ejaculation once every 10 days. Older people less frequent, younger more frequent.

So while having sex everyday. No ejaculation for the man. Not the first day, not the second day... From taoist perspective not anymore at all.. From neo tantra perspective only after hours.

Ladies? Some schools recommend always multi-orgasms. Others recommend synchronization with the men. I say try to be as aroused as possible during the pracitce and have regular and if you like multi orgasms.

The male has the difficult part in this story of course (we tend to think). But it can be done.

To have orgasms without ejaculation is a technique that can be learned. The books talk about two basic techniques to keep the semen in while having an orgasm. Either pressing the perineum (prostate) quite firmly or squeezing the top of the penis helps keeping the juices in.

I recommend a different technique. I recommend the internal contractions of the PC muscle (Mula bandha) and the uddiyana bandha (navel lock) combined with breathing to keep the orgasms indside.

If you stop breathing gentlemen your cumming. If you keep breathing you stand a chance to be able to control.

O yes.. and keep smiling while your doing this.. It is supposed to be fun. Your supposed to enjoy life remember?

After a while, after not having had an ejaculation for some days, the energy builds up. Then the orgasmic energy starts moving through my whole body and i get what the books call a “full body orgasm”. That can go on as long as i want or as long as i can keep the bandhas active..

Wow.. Male orgasm of not seconds, but minutes, or even... ? yes as long as you want.

Well thats worth a smile don't you think?

The orgasmic feelings are more intense than during ejaculation.

So the basics again:

Penetration ( can be soft penetration)

First Series: One series of 9 times ten contractions without much movements. Moving just enough to keep the penis erected enough to stay in or grow a bit.

“Nine times ten” means here the technique of 9 shallow and 1 deep thrust and contraction. And that 9 times.

Second series: male on top, and male moving. 9 times ten (9 shallow and 1 deep).

Third series: Female on top: 9 times ten (9 shallow and 1 deep).

After each “9 times ten” take 10 counts rest and let the energy flow. Take more time if the energy needs it to come to rest again.

Use the mulabandha to keep the ejaculation away and to pump the energy up

In Tantra these techniques are used to arouse kundalini. In my case kundalini already was running fiercely from time to time. As i tell you in "kundalini rising part 1 and 2" .

In my case the tantric sex allows me to “canalize” the wild kundalini. While having these internal orgasms i can lead the energy to all parts of my body or to one of the Chakra’s.

The chakra’s... Well speaking about the chakra’s seems inevitable when you wpeak about this topic. I would rather not. There is already so much rubbish around about those. I just call it energy centers ok?

We find many energy centers or knots in our body. As every vibrating objects we are similar to a pipe in an church organ. In such “organ pipe” you find knots where the sound waves condense their energy. Similarly in us. Waves of what yogis call “pranic” energy are knotted in 7 main knots and many secondary knots.

The energy can be visualized to travel through our system along channels.. Yogi’s call those “Nadi’s”. Three main ones in Yoga: Ida (left) Pingala (right) and Sushumna (middle one). One of the main aims of “Real Hatha Yoga” and Tantra is to let the Kundlini travels along or through the Sushumna.

Yoga depicts Ida and Pingala as a sort of double helix. The Tibetans give pictures with left and right channels traveling straight up with the 7 knots as connection between the channels.

When my energy flows i feel the energy centers as very real knots, sometimes very hard and painful. If the energy travels through they become softer.

Pfff all those theories make it difficult for me to keep smiling.. difficult to keep my heart open, but.. we manage lol

Tantric BDSM.

Wellll. There is a lot of BDSM around in second life.. Mostly pure fun. Mostly done by people who heard or read about it or saw a late night tv show and are curious to experience some of it.

I had people come to me and shouted after i gave them a taste “This is a dream come true” lol. A lawyer lady from New york city.. “Ohhh this is sooo goood” had i knew this before.. A well known journalist and writer, a succesfull Business man “Ohhh my o my.. OMG”.. and so on

Some BDSM masters and mistresses are RL practitioners. They use BDSM in rl as professional or as hobby or as lifestyle even. Some of those lifestylers are real fundamentalists.

Now.. How can BDSM be connected to Tantra? Well. there is traditional BDSM and Spritual BDSM.. my friends hate me for calling traditional bdsms “Vanilla” bdsm..

Traditional BDSM is aimed at “floating”. We call that sometimes “subspace”. Its a trance. Its delicious and for some of us a real high. This is not the topic of today however.

In doing Spiritual BDSM we choose between two flavours. Shamanistic and Tantric bdsm. In Shamanistic BDSM the goal is to leave the body. The shaman intends to return. Its not suicide. The shaman travels to another world and brings back valuable messages.

Tantra does not emphasise dissociation as the Shaman does. It emphasizes awakening of the kundalini and allow the energy to rise, circulate through the body and uplift the consciousness.

I only found one reasonable book dealing with this topic: “Red Hot Tantra” by David Ramsdale. And even there only one (very interesting) chapter. If you find another one please let me know.

I developed a Tantric BDSM practice that even can be transmitted via a virtual world like SL. I used it with my apprentices and they reported deep experiences.

They reported feeling of running energy and even orgasms in their rl body.

I use a combination of Spanking (hitting with a wooden paddle), bondage (Tie-ing with cuffs and chains), imagination and visualization.

I use chakra symbols and Krya Yoga technique for the visualization. For the Krya Yoga you can read Swami Satyanada’s (Bihar school of Yoga) books.

I also use a form of Shaktipad. This is distant transmission of Kundalini force. I concentrate and let the energy flow through my system in synch with that of the other.

My energy transmits and is received similar to a wireless radio. The synchronized energy lets the message come across.

This can in my opinion only be done between people who have a deep trust and confidence.

Afterwards it is necessary that the experience can be communicated to and shared with a rl Tantra master or mistress. This is no childs play!

But my friends this remark i made was not really necessary. The energy will not run without trust in such relationship.

So keep smiling.. no harm to be done here

In ancient times we spoke about secret practices.. Nowadays we know what the real secret is..

The real secret simply is that only very few are fit and disciplined enough to go this path.. So the secret protects itself.

Now my friends, About enlightenment..

Never forget: before enlightenment... there is chopping wood and carrying water..

After enlightenment.. There is : yes... Chopping wood and carrying water.

The difference is how you feel.. And if you can carry a smile while your carrying water it

Now.. lots of talk... lets discuss some of the issues i brought up.

And never ever forget. Keep smiling. A smile relaxes your face and opens your heart. Thats the heart of Tantra. Smile my friends smile...

I take comments, questions, critique.. all is welcome . And if you need to reach me mail


Tantric Kindness

***This is a first draft of text that will grow into a book about Tantric Kindness***

The Book is devoted to all people who want to experience “Loving Kindness”. To all people who walk the Tantric path.

All that is not here is nowhere. All that is not now is never. So only here and now we can experience life.

Tantra gives us tools and theory to experience the here and now. Tantra works on our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs. Tantra is old... very old. Tantra has a lot of different meanings. Most people who work with tantra find their own words. So ask anyone who practices tantra and you get her or his story. This is fun. This is life. We all live our own life's.

This writing will give images of tantra. Of what tantra can be to you. Of what tantra has been for me.

All that is not here is nowhere.. So we don't have to travel. We only have to be here.

All that is not now is never. So we don't have to wait. We can do it now. Now! NOW!.. wow

And that is the biggest challenge of tantra.. to do it here and now. To start. To act. To experience. To enjoy. To be. To love. To be kind to yourself and to be kind to others.

Kindness is the core. Smile. A smile relaxes the face. It opens the heart. It lets the energy flow.

Kindness to myself. Kindness to my lover, to my family, to my neighbors, to people i meet, to animals, to all “sentient beings”. To earth, nature.. just kindness.

Tantra is about energy. About how to let the energy flow. How to open up for the energy. How to enjoy. How to be together.

Tantra is about joy.

The old books speak about tantra in relation to “weaving”. We weave the web of life. Like a piece of texture. We use all and everything that crosses our path. The good and the bad. The ugly and the beautiful. We take it. We smile at it. And we open up our heart in kindness.

The old books speak about paths. The left and the right path. The left path being the dangerous and so the most interesting path. The left path, the “Vama Maga”, where we use sexual energy to light our fires and clean our systems. The right path being the implicit path. No sexual intercourse, slower, decent.

Her we take no left no right.. We just go. We take whatever comes across. We do. And we do in kindness. People from the books would probably call it “quite leftish”. And we just smile.

Some say: “In tantra everything is holy. Nothing is unholy”. Here we say. Nothing is holy. There is no holiness. There is just here and now. And there is kindness. So everything and evryone is welcome.

Some books are written about “Tantric Sex” or “Sexual Ecstasy”. Hmmmmm that is very nice. We will enjoy our sexual ecstasy ohh yes. We will walk the path and enjoy our exercises. And we will do it now. So lets start.

Tantra is called the fast path to enlightenment. Well.. I don't know. If this heaven on earth is enlightenment then tantra leads to it. Because we will experience heaven on earth.

We will talk about sex. We will talk about our family, our parents, our children. We will talk about our roots our heritage. Tantra just opens up for it.

We will talk about Yoga, tai chi, Kundalini, Chakra’s, Chi Qung, Tao, Buddhism, the African Bushmen, the Osho people, Bodywork, Reich, Jung, Freud, The Margo Anand family, the neo and orthodox tantrics. We will talk about energy. And we will be kind. To them all. We will respect their work and their ideas. We will respect their experience. And we will open up for their learnings.

We will use Kriya yoga. Hatha yoga, Raya Yoga, tantric yoga, Mantra yoga, Mandala’s, Porn, Erotics and BDSM. Ohh yes even the darkest corners of humankind can teach us about tantra. Dantes inferno is a friendly place compared with the dark corners of our own mind and body. And we will be kind to the darkness. We will smile at the devil and invite him for a cup of tea.

He will ask us to sell him our soul. And we will smile and tell him he already bought Mr Faust’s and that will do.

We can look at the big thinkers. Nietzsche, Plato, Lao Tse, Sartre and Schopenhauer and many many more And respect their wisdom. We can listen to them, sit at their feet, stand at their shoulders, jump off and wander on. We can enjoy the spring breeze and winter cold, smile, open our hearts and enjoy the flow of kindness.

Ohhhh yes.. there is a lot of technique. The Yab Yum, the breathing, the daily devotion, the big draw. the inner flute. We will look at the list of nice books and resources at the end. Lots of good stuff. Nice to read. Nice to get lost in too.

So we will stay with ourselves mostly. We will feel what we experience. We will look at ourselves.

And my friends. That will take a while. We do it now. But we will chain our “nows” together. We will build our life's as a “mala”. A chain of events. A chain of blissfull moments.

We are in a hurry. So we will slow down. We have no moment to spare so we will take the rest of our life's.

This is the project for the rest of your life. Period. No more no less

Structure. O yes there is structure. The chapters will be well structured. They will deal with all aspects mentioned above and will help you to sort out your frame of reference.

The language we use here is simple. Simple words, meant for your head, heart, body and spirit.

Tantra is about practice. Most books will tell you something like “an ounce of practice is more valuable than a ton of theory”. That is true and not true. Some of us will only use practice to get there (wherever it is). Some of us need their mind. Some of us need their emotions and relationships.

Tantra is for all types of people, but not for many. Tantra is not (yet) the path for the mass. Many are called, few are chosen. We will experience Bliss, Totality, Enlightenment. We will experience it all. And we will have to work for it. And we will have to work hard.

Tantra is about paradoxes. The paradox of “Wu Wei”. Doing without doing. Concentrate and letting go the same time. And the key to this silly world of non-logic is Kindness.

Hence Tantric Kindness. The short path to enlightenment that takes the rest of our lifes.

Exercise 1

Stand, sit or lay down. With attention. With awareness. Let your awareness travel through your body.

Breath. Open up your belly. Lay your hand on your belly and feel it move. Listen to your breathing. Follow your breathing going in and out.

Smile. Bring a smile to your face. Just one smile relaxes the dozens of muscles in your face. Let the smile be gentle. Soften your eyes.

Let the smile travel to your heart. Open your heart. The smile relaxes your heart. Breath and open up

This is the basic exercise. Whenever you think about it do this. Sit, stand, walk, drive your car, watch tv, make love. Do this exercise. Breath, smile and open your heart. Simple, but very effective.

Tantric Sex

Of course we start with Tantric Sex. Thats what we want to hear about don't we? How to get better orgasms? Longer lasting? Becoming orgasmic for the rest of our life's?

Well maybe. We use sexual energy. The Taoist tell us that sexual energy is the strongest life force. The only energy even we can make ourselves. We can produce energy using sexual encounters. And then there is still so much else in life. Music. Art. Sports. They can bring excitement too. Well lets say all the energy brought by those practices is sexual too. So then we can safely start with sex.

If you make love next time. Try this. Do it slowly. Do it twice as slow as you think you could do it. And slow down then.

To be continued..... *hugs* Tara