Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM (part 2)

*** This lecture was delivered earlier 2007 as "virtual lecture" in Second Life***

Dear Friends!

Today we will continue to speak about Tantric Sex and Tantrix BDSM

In Tantric Sex and BDSM part 1 i gave a general overview of my experience with these topics and i gave some basic exercises.

In Kundalini Rising part 1 and 2 i introduce you to some experiences i had as yoga and kundalini teacher and i give some basic kundalini yoga exercises to deal with your energy. We speak about some locks and breathing exercises.

Today i will continue the topic of Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM. Please remind the warnings i gave in my last lecture. This is explosive stuff! You deal with it in a disciplined manner or you will be harmed. Period.

Please note that i nor anyone else can take any responsibility for anything you do based on these talks. Tantra is about taking responsibility for your own life. For your own pleasure and also for your own sufferings.

So why should we interested then? Is there still any fun in life???

Ohh yes. During tantric sexual practices we might find that we achieved:

Simultaneous orgasms; Much more explosive orgasms; Whole- Body orgasms; Multiple orgasms for men; Longer and more pleasurable sexual sessions; More control over when and how we orgasm;

And: A shared emotional response to sex that goes deeper than anything we have experienced before; heightened sexual excitement; an increased libido; a more open and honest sexual relationship;

Plus: A deeper love and respect for our partner; an ability to maintain sex sessions for longer and for them to be more enjoyable

Not bad for a beginning. And then there is the spiritual side as well. Although we shouldnt have expectations of what we individually will experience we might find that we:

Feel our spiritual energy alive and vigorously moving within our body; Feel at one with the universe;

Experience a deeper joy in being alive; Have an understanding of our “soul” or “spirit”; Establish a union with the “One”;

Feel a spiritual bond with our partner; Feel their spiritual energy moving; Share our spiritual energy with our partner; Understand more about our role or mission in life...

WOOOW, Still there my friends??

Lightness, joy, freedom, those are important words for me..

Laughter, smiles

Fun in short.. If you experience yourself not smiling for a while.. then stop it. Go play with your children. Go to the movies. Have fun.

Now the real stuff: We have two different approaches to tantric sex: The Traditional as practiced in ancient India, Tibet, China etc.. And the Neo- Tantra

Neo- Tantra is aimed at more pleasurable sex. Margo Anand as one of the main authors for this approach says in interviews: “I don't teach tantra, i teach ecstatic sex”.

Traditional tantra or “spiritual tantra” is aimed at personal transformation. This is my path. The ecstatic sex for me is merely a by product.

My BDSM practice is a way to augment, accelerate, and intensify the sexual arousal. And the bdsm techniques also proved to have something extra in opening the energy channels and centers. We will speak about that later.

By the way.. RL bdsm people sometimes call my bdsm practice “just sex play”. To them bdsm is a lifestyle. I am not in that lifestyle. Not rl and not in sl.

In part 1 i told you i had several "submissives" in SL. Well That was early 2007. They are all set free to follow their own path of light.

We do Tantra for our own pleasure. Not because anyone tells me to do it.

As a consequence i dropped my bdsm practice in sl. I used bdsm techniques for our tantra work and now i write about it in real life.

Barbara Keesling in her book “Sexual Pleasure” tells us quite strongly: Do the caresses for your own pleasure. Focus on exactly what you are feeling.

Barbara continues: Notice how concentrating on your own sensations makes you more attentive to the little things: The little warm spots, the places where the skin is most delicate, the areas of extreme sensitivity. How does it all feel against your tongue?

So.. My friends: “DO THE CARESSES FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE”

Well this is quite a turn for most of us. We, well educated as we are, try to please the other.

I always tried to please my partner. I worked and worked on the pleasure..

I forgot to feel what i myself needed. I did not even know what i liked. I was very very busy pleasing the other. I felt responsible.

Tantra tells us : Stop that. Do it for your own pleasure. If the other is doing that too it will work.

For me it was a real break through to be allowed to feel for myself and be freed from responsibilities for my partner.

And my partner felt relieved too! Not to feel obliged to show response to my well meant ever continuing efforts to please.

Some Tantra techniques: “The Cobra Breath”

To deal with the energy we arouse you need several basic techniques. In my first lectures i gave you the root lock and navel lock.. The root lock or mula bandha uses the PV muscle.. Exercise this muscle.. It is abolutely necessary to be able to use the PC muscle if you want to work with Tantric sex.

The cobra breath is an “inverse breath technique”. In most traditions it exists, but is kept secret. Her we go: breathing in you contract the PC muscle and a light navel lock. Breathing out you expand the belly.

In Kundalini rising part 1 and 2 i explain about the PC, but in short: The PC muscle is to be found in the pelvic area between anus and genitals.

You see why it is called “inverse breath”. You contract while inhaling and expand while exhaling!

This breath works as a pump. You need the pump to bring the sexual energy we release upwards.

Try it... Breathing in and contract the PC Muscle

Breathing out, relax the PC and expand the belly. Make a sound while breathing out like haaaaaaaa

Hmmm Now about “Self loving”

Masturbation is a good exercise for traning yourself to control the energy and bring the necessary control to your orgasm. This works for both Male and female..

For male its good to exercise to come to the edge of orgasm and stay there a while befor letting cool down again... Dont ejaculate! Use the PC muscle to let the orgasmic energy flow upwards.

Use lubricant to make it more comfortable.. For some males vibrators are nice, some hate them.

For females: You can go to the edge and stay there as well like the males.. You can also work on exercising “Multiple orgasms” by having one and keep stimulating your clit until you get one after the other.

You also can use tools like vibrators to exercise your G-spot. Some women even squirt while they have a gspot orgasm.. some don't ever.

Homework: “The Daily Devotion”

Last week i described the daily devotion as a good basic exercise. I explicitly explained the technique of 3 series of 9 times ten thrusts. Read the transcript for instructions.

Why do this daily devotion.. Well, because it takes a lot of stress out of the question “do we have sex today or not”: We simply always have sex today....

And the DD technique is the best basis for energy work we found. It arouses kundalini and channels the energy upwards better then other techniques.

Yammy: The Yab Yum

If the “DD” is basic to arouse and channel the energy in our own body, the Yab Yum is best to exchange the energy.

We sit in tailors position or Lotus. Female on top. Lingam (penis) in Yoni (vagina). Male and female breath complementary.. Male in while female breathes out etc.

Breathing out the male visualizes his energy streaming out of his penis upwards through the female. The female visualizes the energy going up.

Breathing in the male visualizes energy streaming from the heart of the female into his heart and down. The female breathes out and lets her energy stream into the heart of the male..

Do this as long as you like.. Only slight movements to keep the erection active. No ejaculation. Sometime happy little accidents happen.. So be it..

This basic exercises should keep you busy for at least a few months if your serious.

If your only playing around these exercises will give you a few pleasant evenings and a good at your birthday party where you exchange funny stories.

Now: The heavy stuff: “BDSM as Tantric practice”

I spoke about some bdsm exercises last week. I will give more details now. Be careful to practice this at home Prepare well and make good appointments about what to do and what not.

Keywords for BDSM are: “Safe, Sane and Consentual”.. Every BDSM practitioner will quote those words as most important aspects of contemporary bdsm. Always use a “Stop word” preferably not the word stop.

In SL I use the word RED in capitals. If the word RED is uttered in either chat or IM i immediately stop and bring the apprentice back to relaxed position. We then discuss what happened. So if you hear a stop word.. Immediate response is needed. Both in sl ans in rl play.

Now for the exercise. This is an exercise i used in this virtual world. It transmits a tantric experience between partners who do not know each other in the real world.

First i agree with my partner that he/she will be my submissive partner for the hour or so we work.

She is put on her knees, sitting before a large chakra picture. We will visualize the chakra’s. I will touch her body on the positions of the chakra’s.

Then i immobilize her using bdsm ropes of some sort. Those can be bought in sl in specialized shops.

I let her visualize the chakra picture.

I tell the her that i will spank her through the chakra’s... seven strokes up and seven strokes down.

I ask the apprentice to concentrate. She is ordered to count and thank me for every stroke. She will count from 1 to 7 and then back from 7 to 1.

I let her concentrate on the first chakra and then after a while i hit her on her butt.. quite firmly. It cracks and she counts: “One thank you”. We travel upwards. The hits get less hard when we go up.

After we arrive at seven, the crown chakra we count down. The hits start light for the upper chakra’s and get harder coming down. The last one is quite a blow.

Some partners are kept immobilized, others sit on a meditation pillow. I lead them through a chakra visualizations again.. up and down and i touch the places on their body.

Having come down i tell them that i put my hand on their second “sex” chakra.. I suggest them to feel the energy flowing in their body.

About all partners whom i gave this exercise report strong, sometimes even orgasm like experiences. Which means the virtual experience works through in real life.

All report having had ecstatic feelings nights and days after our exercise.

So this shows how we can use a virtual world like sl to transmit tantric experience.

Now don't fool around with this. As said this is high energy. Be respectful. Be respectful to your partner and to yourself.

Don't think a Domm is there to abuse a submitting partner. It is the Domm's duty to guide her sub and to protect her. The subs wellbeing is the Domm's responsibility.

Be aware: Submissiveness is a gift a sub gives to the Domme. Its not the Domme who take something from the sub!. So the Domme serves the Sub by taking care of her !!!

Woooow.. is there still any fun in this all?? Ohh yes.. Ecstasy is fun. Play is fun. Talking about it is fun.

Fun, Fun and love

This is about Tantric Kindness. Kindness is and remains key to the whole experience.

If you have questions please email me: Tara.Lock@hotmail.com

Om Tat Sa (So Be It)

Namaste