Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM (part 1)

*** This text was used as Virtual lecture in Second Life earlier this year. It will be part of the book "Tantric Kindness"***

Dear friends

Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM, the title of today

Today we will speak about Tantric Sex and Tantric BDSM as a way to arouse kundalini, let it rise and channel it through our system

This is my third virtual lecture in sl. First and second are labeled “Kundalini Rising part 1 and 2 and will be posted below”.

In "Kundalini rising part 1 and 2" i spoke about my personal experience when kundalini started flowing through my system some 20 years ago. I told you how i dealt with that as professional yoga teacher who had never learned how to deal with that in the teachers training.

Some of my earlier teachers of my Yoga teachers training even told me that this would never happen and that i probably had a too lively imagination. Nowadays we know better and there are many stories like mine to be found in good books and on the internet.

In "Kundalini rising part 2" i give you the basic exercises to deal with the energy. The root lock, mulabandha, the navel and chin locks and the pranayama’s. I gave some examples about how strong these exercises can work when applied correctly.

Today we will speak about the most potent way humans have to deal with the kundalini energy. We will speak about sex...

But before we start with the heavy stuff.. Tantra is really about pleasure. Tantra is about light. Tantra is about lightness. Tantra is about experiencing a smile in all you do. Relax.. and smile.. bring a smile to your face and let it open your heart..

Sex is the strongest emotion we have. Of course there is no 1-on-1 relationship between having sex and arousing kundalini. Otherwise everybody who ever had sex in his or her life would be tripping on kundalini and be enlightened already.

I will use the terminology “Tantris sex and Tantric BDSM” a lot today. If sex is the strongest emotion we have, BDSM techniques are among the most potent ways to experience sex. So we deal with high explosives here!

Explosives can be used to blast ourselves a way through high mountains. But as you are perfectly aware of course: Explosives have to be dealt with in a very couscious and disciplined manner.

Dealing with explosives we learn from experienced masters wo lived their lives building up their experience. And sometimes we learn from stories about masters who tried, experimented and blew themself to pieces..

Please learn from this metaphor. Learn from experience of others and be disciplined if you ever want to try these techniques. Quite a few people died of were injured physically, mentally or spritually “fooling” around with these kundalini “high explosives”.

Some of us are guided by “Sat Guru” the guru within. At the end of the path that is the only teacher who is left even. But don't be silly not to use all the experience thats in books or on the internet.

I read a nice statement: “Earlier it was absolutely necessary to have a living Guru to guide you on this dangerous path. Since the invention of printing books this is no longer true”. This might be so, but you still have to read those books or internet entries ..

Are you still smiling? Smile a bit and let the smile open your heart.. Take some breathing.. Take a breath and let the smile open your heart my friends.. please do it.

Here in Sl i am a tantric BDSM mistress. I had devoted apprentices. They all know of course about my rl situation. ((Between mid 2006 and 2007 I had many SL apprentices. Now, fall 2007, SL is a closed book)).

Tantric sex then.... ohhh soo serious .. lets smile about this terribly serious topic?

Sex is about FUN my friends.. about Love.. LOVE ! .. well.. OK here we go..

There is Neo Tantra and traditional Tantra. Neo tantra uses tantric techniques to increase pleasure. To elongate orgasms, to have full body orgasms, te learn about using the gspot, to learn how to have squirting orgasms, to deepen our experience of sex play.

Neo tantra is recent (last 20 years) and mostly developed out of experiences of (former) Osho followers. People like Margo Anand are important authors. She wrote many good books. ( too many letters in those books for me by the way lol).

There is Taoist Tantra. Mantak Chia did lots of work developing “Healing Tao” from taoist perspective. Taoist approach is aimed at getting a long life. It states that ejaculation is a waste of energy and that you live longer if you ejaculate as little as possible.

And IF you ejaculate it even gives you techniques to suck back your juices. These techniques are by the way also to be found in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, the ancient 15^th century Hatha yoga root source.

Non ejaculation does not mean not having orgasms! No my friends there is hope J

You develop the technique of Valley orgasm Multi orgasms and even full body orgasm. And thats what Neo tantrists are mostly after by the way.

There is Tibetan Tantra in Vajrayana and Dzogchen for example. They use tantric techniques as path to enlightenment and insight.

Insight for example in the origin and evolution ot the universe.

The Kalachakra body of knowledge and techniques deals with this. Kalachakra can be seen as (sand) mandala or as a building (the potala palace in Tibet) or as deity (god like figure) having sexual intercourse with his consort.

By the way, Kala means time and chacra of course means wheel or knot, so KalaChakra means “Time Wheel”. Tummo (Tibetan for kundalini) yoga is full part of the KalaChakra practice. The Tibetan tantra kundalini practice is called Trul Khor by the way.

The Tibetans, like most other ancient tantra practitioners, distinguish a “right handed” and a “left handed” path.

The right handed path only uses sexual imagination. The left handed.. Varma Maga, sometimes uses the real thing.

The practices are called the “Highest Yoga tantra”. Techniques are described in books like “six yoga’s of Naropa” and are mostly written in quite obscure language.

Some commentaries like that of Tsongkapa (14^th century) make it a bit clearer. Some recent masters like Lama Yeshe tried to open up the teachings for westerners, but even then it stays difficult and obscured language.

Lama Yeshe said: “You have to taste the chocolade”. What he meant is you have to have sex. Lol

Tantric sex tecniques have a very simple basis.

Start with a daily practice very apt named “daily devotion”. Best twice a day mornings and evenings, if not possible at least once.

The daily devotion is sexual intercourse with three series of 9 times ten thrusts combined with contraction of the PC muscle (mula bandha, root lock) and pranayama’s

Nice you think.. yes.. But... NO ejaculation gentlemen!

Still smiling? Can you imagine? A month, longer even.. sex every day and no ejaculation?

But be aware of possible prostate complications here. The most serious resources i found recommend regular ejaculation. Frequency is depending on age. When your in your 50's that means ejaculation once every 10 days. Older people less frequent, younger more frequent.

So while having sex everyday. No ejaculation for the man. Not the first day, not the second day... From taoist perspective not anymore at all.. From neo tantra perspective only after hours.

Ladies? Some schools recommend always multi-orgasms. Others recommend synchronization with the men. I say try to be as aroused as possible during the pracitce and have regular and if you like multi orgasms.

The male has the difficult part in this story of course (we tend to think). But it can be done.

To have orgasms without ejaculation is a technique that can be learned. The books talk about two basic techniques to keep the semen in while having an orgasm. Either pressing the perineum (prostate) quite firmly or squeezing the top of the penis helps keeping the juices in.

I recommend a different technique. I recommend the internal contractions of the PC muscle (Mula bandha) and the uddiyana bandha (navel lock) combined with breathing to keep the orgasms indside.

If you stop breathing gentlemen your cumming. If you keep breathing you stand a chance to be able to control.

O yes.. and keep smiling while your doing this.. It is supposed to be fun. Your supposed to enjoy life remember?

After a while, after not having had an ejaculation for some days, the energy builds up. Then the orgasmic energy starts moving through my whole body and i get what the books call a “full body orgasm”. That can go on as long as i want or as long as i can keep the bandhas active..

Wow.. Male orgasm of not seconds, but minutes, or even... ? yes as long as you want.

Well thats worth a smile don't you think?

The orgasmic feelings are more intense than during ejaculation.

So the basics again:

Penetration ( can be soft penetration)

First Series: One series of 9 times ten contractions without much movements. Moving just enough to keep the penis erected enough to stay in or grow a bit.

“Nine times ten” means here the technique of 9 shallow and 1 deep thrust and contraction. And that 9 times.

Second series: male on top, and male moving. 9 times ten (9 shallow and 1 deep).

Third series: Female on top: 9 times ten (9 shallow and 1 deep).

After each “9 times ten” take 10 counts rest and let the energy flow. Take more time if the energy needs it to come to rest again.

Use the mulabandha to keep the ejaculation away and to pump the energy up

In Tantra these techniques are used to arouse kundalini. In my case kundalini already was running fiercely from time to time. As i tell you in "kundalini rising part 1 and 2" .

In my case the tantric sex allows me to “canalize” the wild kundalini. While having these internal orgasms i can lead the energy to all parts of my body or to one of the Chakra’s.

The chakra’s... Well speaking about the chakra’s seems inevitable when you wpeak about this topic. I would rather not. There is already so much rubbish around about those. I just call it energy centers ok?

We find many energy centers or knots in our body. As every vibrating objects we are similar to a pipe in an church organ. In such “organ pipe” you find knots where the sound waves condense their energy. Similarly in us. Waves of what yogis call “pranic” energy are knotted in 7 main knots and many secondary knots.

The energy can be visualized to travel through our system along channels.. Yogi’s call those “Nadi’s”. Three main ones in Yoga: Ida (left) Pingala (right) and Sushumna (middle one). One of the main aims of “Real Hatha Yoga” and Tantra is to let the Kundlini travels along or through the Sushumna.

Yoga depicts Ida and Pingala as a sort of double helix. The Tibetans give pictures with left and right channels traveling straight up with the 7 knots as connection between the channels.

When my energy flows i feel the energy centers as very real knots, sometimes very hard and painful. If the energy travels through they become softer.

Pfff all those theories make it difficult for me to keep smiling.. difficult to keep my heart open, but.. we manage lol

Tantric BDSM.

Wellll. There is a lot of BDSM around in second life.. Mostly pure fun. Mostly done by people who heard or read about it or saw a late night tv show and are curious to experience some of it.

I had people come to me and shouted after i gave them a taste “This is a dream come true” lol. A lawyer lady from New york city.. “Ohhh this is sooo goood” had i knew this before.. A well known journalist and writer, a succesfull Business man “Ohhh my o my.. OMG”.. and so on

Some BDSM masters and mistresses are RL practitioners. They use BDSM in rl as professional or as hobby or as lifestyle even. Some of those lifestylers are real fundamentalists.

Now.. How can BDSM be connected to Tantra? Well. there is traditional BDSM and Spritual BDSM.. my friends hate me for calling traditional bdsms “Vanilla” bdsm..

Traditional BDSM is aimed at “floating”. We call that sometimes “subspace”. Its a trance. Its delicious and for some of us a real high. This is not the topic of today however.

In doing Spiritual BDSM we choose between two flavours. Shamanistic and Tantric bdsm. In Shamanistic BDSM the goal is to leave the body. The shaman intends to return. Its not suicide. The shaman travels to another world and brings back valuable messages.

Tantra does not emphasise dissociation as the Shaman does. It emphasizes awakening of the kundalini and allow the energy to rise, circulate through the body and uplift the consciousness.

I only found one reasonable book dealing with this topic: “Red Hot Tantra” by David Ramsdale. And even there only one (very interesting) chapter. If you find another one please let me know.

I developed a Tantric BDSM practice that even can be transmitted via a virtual world like SL. I used it with my apprentices and they reported deep experiences.

They reported feeling of running energy and even orgasms in their rl body.

I use a combination of Spanking (hitting with a wooden paddle), bondage (Tie-ing with cuffs and chains), imagination and visualization.

I use chakra symbols and Krya Yoga technique for the visualization. For the Krya Yoga you can read Swami Satyanada’s (Bihar school of Yoga) books.

I also use a form of Shaktipad. This is distant transmission of Kundalini force. I concentrate and let the energy flow through my system in synch with that of the other.

My energy transmits and is received similar to a wireless radio. The synchronized energy lets the message come across.

This can in my opinion only be done between people who have a deep trust and confidence.

Afterwards it is necessary that the experience can be communicated to and shared with a rl Tantra master or mistress. This is no childs play!

But my friends this remark i made was not really necessary. The energy will not run without trust in such relationship.

So keep smiling.. no harm to be done here

In ancient times we spoke about secret practices.. Nowadays we know what the real secret is..

The real secret simply is that only very few are fit and disciplined enough to go this path.. So the secret protects itself.

Now my friends, About enlightenment..

Never forget: before enlightenment... there is chopping wood and carrying water..

After enlightenment.. There is : yes... Chopping wood and carrying water.

The difference is how you feel.. And if you can carry a smile while your carrying water it

Now.. lots of talk... lets discuss some of the issues i brought up.

And never ever forget. Keep smiling. A smile relaxes your face and opens your heart. Thats the heart of Tantra. Smile my friends smile...

I take comments, questions, critique.. all is welcome . And if you need to reach me mail tara.lock@hotmail.com

*love*

Tantric Kindness

***This is a first draft of text that will grow into a book about Tantric Kindness***

The Book is devoted to all people who want to experience “Loving Kindness”. To all people who walk the Tantric path.

All that is not here is nowhere. All that is not now is never. So only here and now we can experience life.

Tantra gives us tools and theory to experience the here and now. Tantra works on our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs. Tantra is old... very old. Tantra has a lot of different meanings. Most people who work with tantra find their own words. So ask anyone who practices tantra and you get her or his story. This is fun. This is life. We all live our own life's.

This writing will give images of tantra. Of what tantra can be to you. Of what tantra has been for me.

All that is not here is nowhere.. So we don't have to travel. We only have to be here.

All that is not now is never. So we don't have to wait. We can do it now. Now! NOW!.. wow

And that is the biggest challenge of tantra.. to do it here and now. To start. To act. To experience. To enjoy. To be. To love. To be kind to yourself and to be kind to others.

Kindness is the core. Smile. A smile relaxes the face. It opens the heart. It lets the energy flow.

Kindness to myself. Kindness to my lover, to my family, to my neighbors, to people i meet, to animals, to all “sentient beings”. To earth, nature.. just kindness.

Tantra is about energy. About how to let the energy flow. How to open up for the energy. How to enjoy. How to be together.

Tantra is about joy.

The old books speak about tantra in relation to “weaving”. We weave the web of life. Like a piece of texture. We use all and everything that crosses our path. The good and the bad. The ugly and the beautiful. We take it. We smile at it. And we open up our heart in kindness.

The old books speak about paths. The left and the right path. The left path being the dangerous and so the most interesting path. The left path, the “Vama Maga”, where we use sexual energy to light our fires and clean our systems. The right path being the implicit path. No sexual intercourse, slower, decent.

Her we take no left no right.. We just go. We take whatever comes across. We do. And we do in kindness. People from the books would probably call it “quite leftish”. And we just smile.

Some say: “In tantra everything is holy. Nothing is unholy”. Here we say. Nothing is holy. There is no holiness. There is just here and now. And there is kindness. So everything and evryone is welcome.

Some books are written about “Tantric Sex” or “Sexual Ecstasy”. Hmmmmm that is very nice. We will enjoy our sexual ecstasy ohh yes. We will walk the path and enjoy our exercises. And we will do it now. So lets start.

Tantra is called the fast path to enlightenment. Well.. I don't know. If this heaven on earth is enlightenment then tantra leads to it. Because we will experience heaven on earth.

We will talk about sex. We will talk about our family, our parents, our children. We will talk about our roots our heritage. Tantra just opens up for it.

We will talk about Yoga, tai chi, Kundalini, Chakra’s, Chi Qung, Tao, Buddhism, the African Bushmen, the Osho people, Bodywork, Reich, Jung, Freud, The Margo Anand family, the neo and orthodox tantrics. We will talk about energy. And we will be kind. To them all. We will respect their work and their ideas. We will respect their experience. And we will open up for their learnings.

We will use Kriya yoga. Hatha yoga, Raya Yoga, tantric yoga, Mantra yoga, Mandala’s, Porn, Erotics and BDSM. Ohh yes even the darkest corners of humankind can teach us about tantra. Dantes inferno is a friendly place compared with the dark corners of our own mind and body. And we will be kind to the darkness. We will smile at the devil and invite him for a cup of tea.

He will ask us to sell him our soul. And we will smile and tell him he already bought Mr Faust’s and that will do.

We can look at the big thinkers. Nietzsche, Plato, Lao Tse, Sartre and Schopenhauer and many many more And respect their wisdom. We can listen to them, sit at their feet, stand at their shoulders, jump off and wander on. We can enjoy the spring breeze and winter cold, smile, open our hearts and enjoy the flow of kindness.

Ohhhh yes.. there is a lot of technique. The Yab Yum, the breathing, the daily devotion, the big draw. the inner flute. We will look at the list of nice books and resources at the end. Lots of good stuff. Nice to read. Nice to get lost in too.

So we will stay with ourselves mostly. We will feel what we experience. We will look at ourselves.

And my friends. That will take a while. We do it now. But we will chain our “nows” together. We will build our life's as a “mala”. A chain of events. A chain of blissfull moments.

We are in a hurry. So we will slow down. We have no moment to spare so we will take the rest of our life's.

This is the project for the rest of your life. Period. No more no less

Structure. O yes there is structure. The chapters will be well structured. They will deal with all aspects mentioned above and will help you to sort out your frame of reference.

The language we use here is simple. Simple words, meant for your head, heart, body and spirit.

Tantra is about practice. Most books will tell you something like “an ounce of practice is more valuable than a ton of theory”. That is true and not true. Some of us will only use practice to get there (wherever it is). Some of us need their mind. Some of us need their emotions and relationships.

Tantra is for all types of people, but not for many. Tantra is not (yet) the path for the mass. Many are called, few are chosen. We will experience Bliss, Totality, Enlightenment. We will experience it all. And we will have to work for it. And we will have to work hard.

Tantra is about paradoxes. The paradox of “Wu Wei”. Doing without doing. Concentrate and letting go the same time. And the key to this silly world of non-logic is Kindness.

Hence Tantric Kindness. The short path to enlightenment that takes the rest of our lifes.

Exercise 1

Stand, sit or lay down. With attention. With awareness. Let your awareness travel through your body.

Breath. Open up your belly. Lay your hand on your belly and feel it move. Listen to your breathing. Follow your breathing going in and out.

Smile. Bring a smile to your face. Just one smile relaxes the dozens of muscles in your face. Let the smile be gentle. Soften your eyes.

Let the smile travel to your heart. Open your heart. The smile relaxes your heart. Breath and open up

This is the basic exercise. Whenever you think about it do this. Sit, stand, walk, drive your car, watch tv, make love. Do this exercise. Breath, smile and open your heart. Simple, but very effective.

Tantric Sex

Of course we start with Tantric Sex. Thats what we want to hear about don't we? How to get better orgasms? Longer lasting? Becoming orgasmic for the rest of our life's?

Well maybe. We use sexual energy. The Taoist tell us that sexual energy is the strongest life force. The only energy even we can make ourselves. We can produce energy using sexual encounters. And then there is still so much else in life. Music. Art. Sports. They can bring excitement too. Well lets say all the energy brought by those practices is sexual too. So then we can safely start with sex.

If you make love next time. Try this. Do it slowly. Do it twice as slow as you think you could do it. And slow down then.

To be continued..... *hugs* Tara